Did you hear about the negative nelly who hates German sausage? He always fears the wurst.
What do you call a dinosaur with one eye? A do-you-think-he-saur-us.
I’ve got a phobia of over-engineered buildings. It’s a complex complex complex.
What do you call someone who tells too many dinosaur jokes? A dino-bore.
How do you invite a dinosaur for lunch? Tea, Rex?
What kind of cats like to go bowling? Alley cats.
Why was King Arthur’s army too tired to fight? All of those sleepless knights.
I went to see the Liberty Bell the other day. It’s not all it’s cracked up to be.
What superlative did Robert E. Lee win in high school? Most likely to secede!
I’m positive I just lost an electron. Better keep an ion that.
How do turtles communicate with each other? With shell phones.
I’m super friendly with 25 letters of the alphabet. I just don’t know why.
I started a company selling land mines disguised as prayer mats. Prophets are going through the roof.
I asked the librarian if she knew of any authors who wrote dinosaur novels… she said, “Try Sarah Topps”
How did the Native Americans get to America first? They had reservations.
I wanted to take pictures of the fog this morning… But I mist my chance. I guess I could dew it tomorrow!
A police officer just knocked on my door and told me my dogs are chasing people on bikes. That’s ridiculous. My dogs don’t even own bikes!
I’m glad I know sign language. It can come in pretty handy!
What do you call an overweight psychic? A four-chin teller!
A New Year’s resolution is something that goes in one year and out the other.